Highway sign down the road of gloom

Ain Soph

"I am a million candles burning for the love that never came"

-Leonard Cohen, You want it darker

some people

at the bottom

flag

stained

bm/f#m/g/d.....chorus d/d/em/a..repeat

yeah I'm fading
into the endless sleep
and all I'm thinking
is that it's really deep

and the rain is bleeding
out into the deep
and I'm fading
into an endless sleep

nowhere is here now
like a ghost to pay
and nobody is coming
to show you the way

yeah this is the falling
of a waterfall called rain
flooded out cars
tumble down the drain

floating out the day
everything is made of clay
broken hearts last here
and the inside is flame

open the box
to see what will stay
call down the spirits
to let them have their say

yeah Im just fading out
I'm just walking away
they're ain't nothing left that I could say
so this is over and out

so this is over and out
so this is over and out
I'm going down into the deep
I'm going down underneath

roll it away

Jim lives

You left me here in the exhaust
alone in a little corner of life,
and this crazy, this crazy country
a sky, a wife, a job, a dept,
beautiful babies that are gone so fast in time
changing, changing into strong women
the kind I always liked
all like sand and wind rippling through the wheat
orange sand tipped out by gravities bed

This messy crowded needy reality
grinding along in the thing you just accepted
and I always fought
with my death wish as collateral
like some kind of angry fools wish,
give me freedom or else Im gone forever
god

Ahh
my raging contempt
so glad its gone now
in the breath without fire

You left me here in the dream
when you dropped me and hopped out and pumped away
on that bike
me in the passenger seat of the 76 ford
up the hill and away
on that yellow beach banana bike with the fat tires
slipping up that hill in your own sunrise morning
Lincoln city Astoria Seaside Cannon Beach
snippets of days you lived, places you loved

Most damn uncanny drive I have ever had
through time, through your life,
a lovely place in a lovely man
the sun setting on the red hair on your arms
right hand on the steering wheel
of our ghost truck conversation
and me still a child man
yelling wtf dad what about me, what about me
watching him go up the beach street
peopled by ghosts I guess
busy place
seeing him for the first time as a soul
a real person, independent and free of his story
for the first time in eighty years
in the land of the dead
doing his own thing, living his own life
people to meet, things to do
worlds to create
from memories and thought
things we just don't understand
down here in the meat factory

You just took off and left me and I watched
and loved you for your strength
like we all did
loved you for your independence
and your kindness
for your cigars
your weight lifting
your obsessions
your incredible mind and
sharp blue eyes

I have no regrets
except one
my anger
I regret it
why did you always have to be in my sights
representative of all I despised
so unfairly the son can only see the projection
caught up in stories we spin inside our own mountain fortress
alone with the moon in the water because the real thing
has always been to bright
for me to really see

So nice to see you finally ditched that
piece of shit yellow ten speed
that you hung on to for fifty years
like the black 1959 limo
that almost killed us on I-5
until you, I know, were forced to give up
because of sugar blood decay
and it finally rotted away in peace
on Old Mountain road

It was
so nice to see you again
and now I know I will one day
we will drink some beer on a porch
with the summer sun setting
you do the harmonica
and I will do the guitar

never give up
Jim lives

Ghost Truck

Diamond Roads

Imagination is forever
she said
in a luminous body
unbounded by sight, sound or form
Mountain cliff and rocks
above the river
cradled the iron cave
Its from there she came
a fury broken by none
with silent wings of light
beating in the dust and fog
beating in the warmth of this white star
by amber yellow leaves
by a singing whistle of wind
she came
and like a fire over water
like the brittle crack of a stick
the rushing ancient animal
of old woman, of old river, of old dirt
groaned to be touched
to surround the one who loved her
to be it all
from the pale light
of her forever breath

and in the morning she was gone

up in my attic

Machiavelli, the void and my Indian friend

 My Shadow, the truth and my heart


I am fading into the grim drive
the crash the sell and the innocent shallow
heart blaze road in my chest
like some damn fool open and lost to the moon
all this open water driven into the sea
the air the sky the branch and me

roots for sound
the computer headache drivel bomb
pushing ahead, looking
broken loves and dead fathers and words that tumble out
from thin black books of colour
addictive breath
the skin aches, the touch is gone,
the bones are all hollow and bruised

and still sunlight pours out of me
pushing against this dying light infection
and still the fire burns to start again
to be union
to be loved

such shallow fools we are I am
I am no master
no guru no genius
I am not enlightened
and if I was I would throw It all away
for the love of a woman

broken scale blues
you can weigh my feather
ancient rocks of the surf and heat
my heart lies here on your sunlit face
with the gulls and the eagle shit
with my tears and longing
with the beauty and possibility
of life