far away and lost #23

I don't believe in this moment
lost and far away life is a dream
to slip away without a trace
to die in my sleep
like these bells in the fog
a sound land for a friend in my ears, always singing
leaving no tears, no residue, no waste
what you think of me doesn't matter
nothing does
I deleted the measure and account
listened to the drug of being
with frozen hands and glue and tacks
I painted it out

I looked for a long time for you
but you didn't come
that's because you are here now
in the dream of this dream
with me alone
I made you up

art is meaningless
life is meaningless
death is meaningless
everything is nothing
I don't matter
I am nobody
and I am going nowhere
now

the night is her now
the morning will come
the shit will occur
routine
and all around it is the moment I have eaten
can't chase it
but the eternal slip is worth waiting for
i have been there
in the crescent and island of the soul
by the dog and the water of love
immersion and glide I am becoming
you are like a jewel to me and I love you all
from behind the window
from behind my glass eyes
from the boat and suitcase on the desert highway
madness and necessary confession, circle in the dirt
for this spirit surrounded by the cynics of matter
in their grid of fear
from a private tower over the sea
comes a whisper on my spiral stairway
you are loved
you are loved &
the night is her now
she speaks like a kiss from death watching and waiting
invisible angel
reminding you that it is coming
someday maybe tomorrow
and perhaps it is a door
mine is