Out of the loop

I'm done
out of the loop
slipped over that line she drew on the floor with her cane
nobody home
blew up the TV
threw away the stupid pot
flushed the beer
burnt up the last smoke on the top of the mountain
don't care
care so much I cry all day
swam up ahead, saw the view
down under the covers
won't come out

see but I don't see
hear but I don't hear
I know it's my fault
I have no one to blame but myself

like a ghost walking on air
we stretch out to the gods
drink coffee
avoid the news

I don't want to know
can't take it
I live now
the old quiet farm in my mind
ride invisible horses
down the beach
in the fog

I am this world
I am this air
it's my ocean
it's my water
I have always loved her

this rage will kill me
so I forgive you
change your dream
change your story
the world does not end

cracks in the sidewalk
flowers on the side
her little hand in mine
telling me about what the mean boy said
sun on the busy people
this quiet mind

Whales choking on oil , I am so sorry

Dream
Dream dreamt the last stone falling away
Parcel of desire
Broken pillows
Alone bed
Sleet of steel blades falling to earth
Flower bloom in the last hole
Praying for death
Another sunrise
Broken view slept away
Crazy dead love and craven obsession
Repeat endlessly
This soft bright tone
take me away
A place without fences
A place without my insane aggression
Grassy hillsides roam again just for fun
No barking faces
No inevitable looming death of earth

The tire tracks sail away
Distance upsetting
His smallness unthroned
The golden sparkle
When hatred dissolves
Sick of love
Lovesick
Lovesick and dying
From the poisened water
From the mirror and voice of self-loathing
From failure
From cursed desire
From chemtrail spraying nobody believes
From a mountain of plastic in my beautiful Sea
From hope dying, like the bees, like the bats
From half smiles and fear, a mile high
From prison karma beds that bleed water and hate
From trying to do the right thing
From this, this........whatever, nevermind